Be warned this is very very long!


Ever just sat down, looked and thought about what you have, what you don’t have, why its never enough, steps in life where you have messed up and times in life where other people have messed thing up for you, just thought that if today, this hour and minute was your last what you would do? Who you would kiss and miss? The things you left unfinished and more importantly what will people remember and miss you for?

I sat next to two old ladies on the flight from Sydney to Nadi (fiji), I couldn’t help but think about what would happen if this aircraft didn’t reach Nadi…I got a pretty good answer to it…

If I died today, I would die without any regrets and yes I am 15 I have a long way to go but I have everything someone could want in life…modern plumbing, family, friends – actual real friends, gods grace, I don’t need anything more. Someone up there loves me a lot for giving me a life like this.

Anyway, the flight to Nadi, which I used to call home was pretty good, I sat with old people and thought for about 4hours, thought about things, forgiveness, mistakes, breaks, second takes, I liked it, time to myself. Okay so I sat there with tears running down my eyes but hey I was watching Lake House of that was an excuse if someone saw me but no one did.

Arrived at Nadi and Rakesh (the groom) picked us up in his crappy car which should not be allowed to be on the road, we got home, well the house I used to call my home, my grandpa’s place.
There was hugs, kisses, and more hugs, there was love.

My best mate for 9 years called 15 minutes after I got home, he was shocked, it was so great hearing his voice again, I don’t know what I was complaining about before when I used to feel alone, I was never alone, all I needed was to press a couple of numbers and love was at my service.

My uncle from NZ came half an hour after us and then we had cake…for my birthday which was 10 days earlier. Family. The people I grew up with, the people who meant more than the world to me – grandma, pa and the uncle.

After the shocks and the poking fingers on who has changed, there was conversation, laughter, anger and fights just like the good old days, if only there was a way to freeze these moments and keep them safe forever…it had been 4 years since the family had gotten together like this..

The next day was shopping…I bought an Indian suit, the town was messy, the shops were rip offs, there wasn’t a smile on people’s faces, this wasn’t home, this was not the Fiji I knew.

The day after, Friday, the wedding began. There was coconuts being smashed, there was turmeric being rubbed on grooms body.

In the evening I went to visit Ray, he has been my brother / best mate since year 1. we didn’t change much, we were still the same, I was still the wiser saner sister, he was still the trying to stand steady, stepping on rocks brother. His parents and my parents had become friends after seeing how serious we were about being “brother /sister” . it didn’t feel as if I was sitting at a friends house, his mum was my mum, his dad my dad. Mum and dad went with me as well. The mothers talked. The fathers talked and we talked. It was awesome


I was in the shower and he threw a Colgate packet at me. I cried. I haven’t cried like that before and I didn’t think I would cry like that again…but I was wrong.

The day after, Saturday, had over 200 people, the people playing the music drew a lil too much attention to themselves, they asked my dad who I was, dad asked them why, they replied saying I was acting all flirty and teasingly, dad stopped the car and said I was his daughter, they apologised

During the night, more friends and family came, there was loud music, there was traditional indian music for the groom, there was kava, food and there was sisters rubbing turmeric on the groom.

(The whole point of the night was to put turmeric paste on the groom, old tradition)

It wasn’t much fun. No one danced. No one laughed. There wasn’t much of an atmosphere.

At 12, the night ended, people went home, I cried again. There was pain, a lot of pain, pain that didn’t exist but pains which’s present couldn’t be denied.

now preparation for Sunday. I stayed up till 4am making a flower garland for the groom, maybe this was the way I was going to forgive him, maybe this was my way of letting go and forgiving.

Sunday morning, I got up early, finished the rest of the garland and then around 10 the procession left, a big bus, the car and other relatives and friends. We were off to the bride’s house where the wedding would take place. I was in the bus, the ride was boring, it rained, it had been ages since I had felt the rain on my skin, it felt wonderful, I felt beauty again.

The wedding was boring. More then 5 coconuts got smashed. The bride was no comment, the groom looked stunning. The food was pathetic and the wedding traditions were also lame since no one cared and everyone was angry.

After the wedding, there was angry, hard and not so nice Pat, everyone laughed at the angry comments about the wedding. It was fun.

Arriving home, I went straight to bed, the rest of the night was a bludge.

Monday was fun, I spent a lot of time with my uncle, we both knew it was never going to last, it felt so weird knowing that we probably would never get to talk like this.

Monday night, we packed.

Tuesday morning, it felt wrong, once again it was time for goodbyes.

How did this even happen? Why did we ever leave this country we called home?

There was a few tears. Grandpa’s little girl had grown up, their cute little girl had turned…beautiful, there wont be moments like this … ever. Everything had changed.

Fiji had changed so much since I first left, there was advertising everywhere, there was dirtiness everywhere, new infrastructure, the ongoing fights between the native Fijians and the Indo-Fijians.

My personal trip was quite alright, the best friends there were still best friends, I was eaten by mossies, I had cried, I forgave, I realised what I had. It was awesome.

Sydney was home now. My home.

91,987 were part of the 23million people who stood up against poverty.

There was events at 342 locations and we had more people standing up then Canada and the UK.


_______________________________________________________________________________

A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD CHALLENGE has been set on October 17th 2006, for the most number of people globally to STAND UP AGAINST POVERTY in 24 hours from 15 & 16 October, 2006!

23,542,614 at 11,646 events in 87 countries
Record Title: Largest stand up (multiple venue)

Holder: United Nations Millennium Campaign

Date Achieved: October 17, 2006

Attempt Text: The world record for the most people to 'Stand Up Against Poverty' in 24 hours was set on 15 - 16 October 2006 for the United Nation's Millennium Campaign and involved a massive total of 23,542,614 participants in 11,646 events around the globe.


woot wooott!!! Goooo everyone who participated!!!

Sydney
Martin Place
Monday, October 16, 1pm - 1.45pm
Comedians, perfomers, celebrities - all inviting you to stand up and take the Pledge against poverty.



What is STAND UP?

STAND UP is a global event to show world leaders that it's time for them to take a stand against poverty.

STAND UP will raise awareness of the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs), an eight point plan to halve global poverty, and publicly demonstrate the growing global support to Make Poverty History.

STAND UP will send a strong message about ending poverty to the leaders of the world economy, the G-20, who are meeting in Melbourne in November 2006.


STAND UP coincides with global activities around the International Day of Poverty Eradication. The Make Poverty History coalition is coordinating the event in Australian businesses, schools and churches and internationally it is coordinated by the UN Millennium Campaign.


STAND UP aims to break the official Guinness World Record for the most number of people ever to STAND UP for a cause - be part of it


makepovertyhistory.com.au

=D

BE PART OF IT!!!!
________________________________________





Weeee two week break.
One week gone.
One started.

Anyway, I am flying to Fiji tomrow. Hooorrraaay!!

One week without technology should do me some good.

Sitting here writing about whats probably the most important thing to me, a thing called life with a candle trying to burn and with the lights off feels weird, weird in a good way.

I turn 15 two days ago and it was crazy. It felt weird. Weird in a weird way. I had been expecting it for a long time yet when it was finally here it felt like it had crept up from behind a little to suddenly.
I am just starting to get to know myself…who I am as a person, what I am, what makes me special and what am I here for but I guess it’s a little to soon to answer those questions, 15 and I still feel like I felt when I was 9 and well I think that’s how I will ever be and it feels wonderful.

I still don’t get the concept of growing up.

The birthday was nothing special, yet it felt very special. I spent the day with mum, we got along, maybe that was it, maybe growing up was understanding and seeing things from a different view, maybe it was being taken seriously or maybe it was not being able to beg for a different flavour of gelato because yours tasted sickening.

We went for dinner, together, it was family time, something that hadn’t happened in the house for the past 4 years. Further into the night, I played the role of mediator, relaying conversation to sort things that have been bugging everyone out…maybe that was growing up, maturity?

At the end, everything worked out fine.

Another year past me by, another day went, another hour about to do.

The past year had taught me soo much.
I found a purpose, I found out how insane our world was, I found the best friends I could have ever hoped for, I found a little bit of myself.

I learnt to cry. I learnt to smile with the sad. I learnt to forget, forgive and let go. I learnt that happiness was sitting there right next to you all along, all you had to do was poke it. I learnt to find beauty in things. I learnt to live, love and be happy.

Looking at 15, it seems wonderful. Suddenly everything seems to be in place, everything looks, seems, smells perfect. Hey I even have a new definition for ‘perfect’ now =D

Happiness is what life is about. It’s the love you give and the love you (sometimes) get in return.