http://patriciak.tigblog.org/ What's on the minds of young leaders from around the globe? en-us http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/208781 mayor of Parramatta spoke saying how when he first moved into the
community, he had a bbq to get to know everyone and how he got to know
people and his street community comming together and I dont know how
things are in different areas but most places that I see..its the same
story, people live in houses, youth have over 300 contacts, most of
them how live about 15mins away from them yet hey havent met.

We find more and more youth being diagnosed with depression, feeling
isolated, with the world at their fingertips...we still feel more
colder then our parents would have.

A way to get youth together, a way to show them that 'hey u have
potential, great potiental'
You get this ALOT at leaderships conferences and other various things
but it is restrcited only to leaders. We go and get our skills fine
tuned, we are taught to stand firmer, to speak louder and aim higher
but what about those who simply dont know how to stand to begin with,
those who dont know how to speak at all and those who lack motivation
and belonging...
Scary thing is, these people and we are the future so something more
needs to be done...

I really dont know what I am trying to say but I dont know...a youth
led festival organised by youth and not so much by the council, just
when people feel like their decisions matter , they tend to take more
intiviative so yeah...
Something new, something differenent...not sure what...


]]> Wed, 23 May 2007 04:57:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/208781 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/177469
Its Easter =]

I dont think I am the only one who feels just a little extra loved during Easter.
As a christian , easter somehow has more signifiance to me personally then Christmas.

Maybe its because it hasnt been comsumerised (sp?) yet or maybe its about the scarifice that one makes to save others.

savior on a hill, dying for my shame, deifes the world I see, yet this is what my heart has been longing for

I am not sure if I believe in the big scary "God" person but whichever way you look at it, Jesus was amazing.
Whether divine or not, to die for people who rejected him
To show the world a way of life
To teach the world love
and to believe it enough to well be cruificed....
that is why I call myself a Chrisitan.

Other things have been amazing as well.

This week, I found out that I am in the NSW youth parliment so I am very excited about that =]

More updates as they come =]

xx
rusty]]> Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:57:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/177469 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/83891
Merry Christmas everyone! and have a fanastic new year!]]> Sun, 24 Dec 2006 07:52:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/83891 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/76121
The year is almost over. The school year, for me, ends tomrow and then the presentation of reports followed by a eight week break.
Seems like only yesterday when I first started at Rooty Hill and now my first year is over. Time flies.

Today we also had a party for STAND. We now have around 30 members which is fanastic since well..its Rooty Hill.

Kevin Rudd has won Labor Leadership. Woot woot!! It seems unfair on Kim Beazely for putting so much effort and commitment to the party and then having it all taken away....but such is life and well go labor!!

The sensationalism of the coup in Fiji is absoulty ridicious. Ask the average Fijian how they feel and they tell you that there is no difference. I am, personally, for the coup. The measures needed to be taken. Who is the bigger sinner, the one who commits the crime or the one who watches it being commited? Hopefully this coup will put an end to corruption and injustice. However, I think there could have been other ways to resolve it and not having a coup but you have to give the military commander some credit, he did everything he could. He talked. He negioated. He gave them time and well sometimes things need to be done. I dislike his method but his intentions were good.

Oh god I sound so bad saying that >.<

]]> Wed, 06 Dec 2006 23:43:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/76121 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/75019
Once again, 4th time in less than 20 years, Fiji is in a state of Coup.

They have promised that this will be a bloodless coup…lets hope so.

There wasn’t any deaths in the 2000 coup…but the atrocities that occurred were just plain old stupid. Jobs were lost, the economy was going down, there was fear amongst everyone and most importantly people simply lost hope after the injustice that happened.

The military has taken over the country because they are unhappy with certain government bills and yes I am for that. Fiji has become a place where the poor keep sliding into deeper poverty. More and more farms and houses are being taken over by the native and the law just sits back. One of the bills which the military was against was making all freehold land turned to the native title.

I am not against the coup, I just hope that the results from this coup isn’t the same as the last one.

]]> Mon, 04 Dec 2006 23:59:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/75019 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/72931 It is incredible.

Human insanity.
Hatred.
Compassion.

How do stuff like that happen in our world? How does these types of hatred breed in todays world?

And how did we just turn our backs?
and things like this are still happening today and we are still ignoring it?

Have we just become immune to the attroctes of the world or do we just not care?

Over n Out
Rusty.]]> Wed, 29 Nov 2006 22:40:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/72931 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/70211
It was a fantastic day. The people, the atmosphere, the speakers, Peter Garrett =p

It’s a day we stepped out of our bubbles and took a look at the others leaders in our wider communities (we had people from the ACT and TAS). These were the people who we were going to go later in life, the competition, the supporters, the people who we were going to see across the table of board meetings and papers.

So we all got brainwashed by Peter Garrett into saving the world, joining conservation groups, making poverty history, listening to Bono and well voting for Labor so they can save Australia and Africa for that matter but hey nothing bad right?

The joys on mingling…was most of you know I am a random free spirit, today whilst “mingling” with people, I met a friend from stir (stir.org.au…CHECK IT OUT =D) it was so awesome! All it takes for a stranger to be a friend is a simple ‘hello’

Anyway I best be off right now, work to go to, things to organise, postcards and a hamper to prepare for my MP and lastly trying to find my strengths and weaknesses whilst trying to save the world.
]]> Fri, 24 Nov 2006 00:55:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/70211 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/69429 - Nerina Pallot

No cause could be so worthy.

If love is a drug, then I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song then I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...
If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Running out through the door and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...

For every man who wants to rule the world,
There'll be a man who just wants to be free,
[ these lyrics found on www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
What do we learn but what should not be learnt?
Too late to find a cure for this disease.

And so...
Everybody's going to war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for,
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause,
No cause could be so worthy.

If love is a drug, I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song, I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...
If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Running out through the door, and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...
I-I-I-I don't want to die,
I-I don't want to die...

I've got a friend, he's a pure-bred killing machine,
I think he might be dead by Christmas...
]]> Thu, 23 Nov 2006 00:21:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/69429 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/67189

Oh my god!
The makepovertyhistory concert was the greatest thing I have ever seen on TV!


If you didn’t get a chance to see it or listen to it…then you missed out on the GREATEST THING EVER!!!!

I was unfortunate enough to not be allowed to go but the highlights on Channel 10 were amazing!

WOW! Is all I can say…to see an event like this happen in Australia with nothing more than the passion and innovation of members of my Generation is amazing!

Yes we can make history.
We will make history

Generation 2015…will be a great generation….now it seems fair to say that I am not being idealist but realistic.

Hopefully our leaders got the message.
]]> Sat, 18 Nov 2006 08:16:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/67189 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/66337
Yes, it has been ages since I blogged here but other aspects of life have been taking their toll on me…

I am overcommitted and … lovin’ it, it just doesn’t give me much leisure time for pointless things like sitting in front of a computer all day and wasting away my youth. I don’t like the idea of wasting away my youth either…yet it seems like that is what will happen.

So whats been happening…..nothing much really expect ….

I attended the ‘Culture for Care’ conference for Western Sydney a few weeks back along with the Social Justice Group which was awesome.

I have also decided to NEVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER join politics. The little examples I see of democracy within the school and community and how good intentions don’t really have much of a place and instead power and popularity wins has made me reconsider.

I don’t think I mentioned this in any of my other blogs but I got a job…yup a really job…minium wage, good shifts, great people, Dominos Pizza. Great place even though the pay is beyond terrible but hey!

Had elections for the Social Justice group…which I won after a tie...so that felt good...good intentions won bahaha

Today the school held a mufti day for the Cancer Council which I suggest…which brings me saving the world to…3 fundrasier’s this year…..Famine, One Day and Cancer Council…hey it’s a good start since there is always something going on and there is not much one can do without destroying the school calendar.

I was one of 10 students picked to represent Rooty Hill High at the Young Leaders Conferece next Friday…along with 3000 other kids from across Sydney…so should be fun!

Storms and rain clouds have passed…forecast for the near future…sunshine…sunshine, blue skies…and a little bit more sunshine =D


The MakePovertyHistory Concert is on tomrow!!!!! Woot woot!! Hopefully the message gets through to them and with bands like Jet and Evermore, I’d be shocked if they didn’t!

For Australians…there will be a Radio broadcast live on Nova FM around the country (96.9……..best station ever!) also there will be a one hour delayed webcast on www.news.com.au/heraldsun and also a delayed 2 hour highlights package on Channel 10 on Saturday 12 noon.

That is all from my little world of worldnes...
hmmm I am going to start a daily blog here!

]]> Thu, 16 Nov 2006 00:08:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/66337 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/61997
You have more fun falling and getting up then you do jsut walking up ahead.

Life doesnt go according to plan..god I have heard that a few too many times by a few too many people but whichever way it does, its beautiful.

Not always beautiful, most days its just a beautiful disaster but eitehr way, in the end life gets you where you should be not where you necessary want to me.

I have messed up...wayy more than my share, I see it as a blessing though, it has shown me the true nature of people, what 'friendship' really means or doesnt mean for that matter and how people change.

and most importantly that in the end all you have is yourself and thats not a bad thing.

I feel so much better, not because I have made the biggest mistake of my life and that my head is going at a thousand miles per hour with confused messed up thoughts but because this is helped it from making bigger mistakes, this had helped me see people for who they really are.

This had showed me how wrong I was and still am and thats a great thing.

A lesson learnt.
A broken promise.
A whispered prayer.

]]> Sat, 04 Nov 2006 05:50:00 EST http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/61997 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/51607

Ever just sat down, looked and thought about what you have, what you don’t have, why its never enough, steps in life where you have messed up and times in life where other people have messed thing up for you, just thought that if today, this hour and minute was your last what you would do? Who you would kiss and miss? The things you left unfinished and more importantly what will people remember and miss you for?

I sat next to two old ladies on the flight from Sydney to Nadi (fiji), I couldn’t help but think about what would happen if this aircraft didn’t reach Nadi…I got a pretty good answer to it…

If I died today, I would die without any regrets and yes I am 15 I have a long way to go but I have everything someone could want in life…modern plumbing, family, friends – actual real friends, gods grace, I don’t need anything more. Someone up there loves me a lot for giving me a life like this.

Anyway, the flight to Nadi, which I used to call home was pretty good, I sat with old people and thought for about 4hours, thought about things, forgiveness, mistakes, breaks, second takes, I liked it, time to myself. Okay so I sat there with tears running down my eyes but hey I was watching Lake House of that was an excuse if someone saw me but no one did.

Arrived at Nadi and Rakesh (the groom) picked us up in his crappy car which should not be allowed to be on the road, we got home, well the house I used to call my home, my grandpa’s place.
There was hugs, kisses, and more hugs, there was love.

My best mate for 9 years called 15 minutes after I got home, he was shocked, it was so great hearing his voice again, I don’t know what I was complaining about before when I used to feel alone, I was never alone, all I needed was to press a couple of numbers and love was at my service.

My uncle from NZ came half an hour after us and then we had cake…for my birthday which was 10 days earlier. Family. The people I grew up with, the people who meant more than the world to me – grandma, pa and the uncle.

After the shocks and the poking fingers on who has changed, there was conversation, laughter, anger and fights just like the good old days, if only there was a way to freeze these moments and keep them safe forever…it had been 4 years since the family had gotten together like this..

The next day was shopping…I bought an Indian suit, the town was messy, the shops were rip offs, there wasn’t a smile on people’s faces, this wasn’t home, this was not the Fiji I knew.

The day after, Friday, the wedding began. There was coconuts being smashed, there was turmeric being rubbed on grooms body.

In the evening I went to visit Ray, he has been my brother / best mate since year 1. we didn’t change much, we were still the same, I was still the wiser saner sister, he was still the trying to stand steady, stepping on rocks brother. His parents and my parents had become friends after seeing how serious we were about being “brother /sister” . it didn’t feel as if I was sitting at a friends house, his mum was my mum, his dad my dad. Mum and dad went with me as well. The mothers talked. The fathers talked and we talked. It was awesome


I was in the shower and he threw a Colgate packet at me. I cried. I haven’t cried like that before and I didn’t think I would cry like that again…but I was wrong.

The day after, Saturday, had over 200 people, the people playing the music drew a lil too much attention to themselves, they asked my dad who I was, dad asked them why, they replied saying I was acting all flirty and teasingly, dad stopped the car and said I was his daughter, they apologised

During the night, more friends and family came, there was loud music, there was traditional indian music for the groom, there was kava, food and there was sisters rubbing turmeric on the groom.

(The whole point of the night was to put turmeric paste on the groom, old tradition)

It wasn’t much fun. No one danced. No one laughed. There wasn’t much of an atmosphere.

At 12, the night ended, people went home, I cried again. There was pain, a lot of pain, pain that didn’t exist but pains which’s present couldn’t be denied.

now preparation for Sunday. I stayed up till 4am making a flower garland for the groom, maybe this was the way I was going to forgive him, maybe this was my way of letting go and forgiving.

Sunday morning, I got up early, finished the rest of the garland and then around 10 the procession left, a big bus, the car and other relatives and friends. We were off to the bride’s house where the wedding would take place. I was in the bus, the ride was boring, it rained, it had been ages since I had felt the rain on my skin, it felt wonderful, I felt beauty again.

The wedding was boring. More then 5 coconuts got smashed. The bride was no comment, the groom looked stunning. The food was pathetic and the wedding traditions were also lame since no one cared and everyone was angry.

After the wedding, there was angry, hard and not so nice Pat, everyone laughed at the angry comments about the wedding. It was fun.

Arriving home, I went straight to bed, the rest of the night was a bludge.

Monday was fun, I spent a lot of time with my uncle, we both knew it was never going to last, it felt so weird knowing that we probably would never get to talk like this.

Monday night, we packed.

Tuesday morning, it felt wrong, once again it was time for goodbyes.

How did this even happen? Why did we ever leave this country we called home?

There was a few tears. Grandpa’s little girl had grown up, their cute little girl had turned…beautiful, there wont be moments like this … ever. Everything had changed.

Fiji had changed so much since I first left, there was advertising everywhere, there was dirtiness everywhere, new infrastructure, the ongoing fights between the native Fijians and the Indo-Fijians.

My personal trip was quite alright, the best friends there were still best friends, I was eaten by mossies, I had cried, I forgave, I realised what I had. It was awesome.

Sydney was home now. My home.
]]> Wed, 18 Oct 2006 05:34:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/51607 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/51559
There was events at 342 locations and we had more people standing up then Canada and the UK.


_______________________________________________________________________________

A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD CHALLENGE has been set on October 17th 2006, for the most number of people globally to STAND UP AGAINST POVERTY in 24 hours from 15 16 October, 2006!

23,542,614 at 11,646 events in 87 countries
Record Title: Largest stand up (multiple venue)

Holder: United Nations Millennium Campaign

Date Achieved: October 17, 2006

Attempt Text: The world record for the most people to 'Stand Up Against Poverty' in 24 hours was set on 15 - 16 October 2006 for the United Nation's Millennium Campaign and involved a massive total of 23,542,614 participants in 11,646 events around the globe.


woot wooott!!! Goooo everyone who participated!!!

]]> Tue, 17 Oct 2006 22:25:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/51559 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/50747 Martin Place
Monday, October 16, 1pm - 1.45pm
Comedians, perfomers, celebrities - all inviting you to stand up and take the Pledge against poverty.



What is STAND UP?

STAND UP is a global event to show world leaders that it's time for them to take a stand against poverty.

STAND UP will raise awareness of the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs), an eight point plan to halve global poverty, and publicly demonstrate the growing global support to Make Poverty History.

STAND UP will send a strong message about ending poverty to the leaders of the world economy, the G-20, who are meeting in Melbourne in November 2006.


STAND UP coincides with global activities around the International Day of Poverty Eradication. The Make Poverty History coalition is coordinating the event in Australian businesses, schools and churches and internationally it is coordinated by the UN Millennium Campaign.


STAND UP aims to break the official Guinness World Record for the most number of people ever to STAND UP for a cause - be part of it


makepovertyhistory.com.au

=D

BE PART OF IT!!!!
________________________________________





Weeee two week break.
One week gone.
One started.

Anyway, I am flying to Fiji tomrow. Hooorrraaay!!

One week without technology should do me some good.]]> Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:35:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/50747 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/45083
I turn 15 two days ago and it was crazy. It felt weird. Weird in a weird way. I had been expecting it for a long time yet when it was finally here it felt like it had crept up from behind a little to suddenly.
I am just starting to get to know myself…who I am as a person, what I am, what makes me special and what am I here for but I guess it’s a little to soon to answer those questions, 15 and I still feel like I felt when I was 9 and well I think that’s how I will ever be and it feels wonderful.

I still don’t get the concept of growing up.

The birthday was nothing special, yet it felt very special. I spent the day with mum, we got along, maybe that was it, maybe growing up was understanding and seeing things from a different view, maybe it was being taken seriously or maybe it was not being able to beg for a different flavour of gelato because yours tasted sickening.

We went for dinner, together, it was family time, something that hadn’t happened in the house for the past 4 years. Further into the night, I played the role of mediator, relaying conversation to sort things that have been bugging everyone out…maybe that was growing up, maturity?

At the end, everything worked out fine.

Another year past me by, another day went, another hour about to do.

The past year had taught me soo much.
I found a purpose, I found out how insane our world was, I found the best friends I could have ever hoped for, I found a little bit of myself.

I learnt to cry. I learnt to smile with the sad. I learnt to forget, forgive and let go. I learnt that happiness was sitting there right next to you all along, all you had to do was poke it. I learnt to find beauty in things. I learnt to live, love and be happy.

Looking at 15, it seems wonderful. Suddenly everything seems to be in place, everything looks, seems, smells perfect. Hey I even have a new definition for ‘perfect’ now =D

Happiness is what life is about. It’s the love you give and the love you (sometimes) get in return.
]]> Tue, 03 Oct 2006 05:16:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/45083 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/44641
People signed up, more people pulled out.

Nothing was orangised for the famine weekend seeing as I had enough things to worry about...and no one seemed keen enough to do things with the other members of the group.

Weeks after the famine began my chase to get everyone's books and money in...many had lost their books, some hadnt collected while most did the right thing.

Today I banked all the money.... $1131.30 ... I was so surpised....wow!!!
So yes

Even though...almost everything that could go wrong went wrong, the end result was wonderful!

Goooooooooo STAND!]]> Wed, 27 Sep 2006 05:48:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/44641 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/43163
The response from students and teachers was great.

This was the first thing STAND has done and well it went perfectly =D so proud of myself......and the group.

It was a gold coin donation for the mufti day...the only thing we could do due to restrications in the school. Raised $470, not much but there was less then 500 people at school so pretty good.
Hey atleast we made a difference, however small it be and well we have opened the door for more charity things to go on within the school.]]> Tue, 12 Sep 2006 05:21:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/43163 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/42833 He was stabbed by a Stinray at the Great Barrier Reef.

Every single person on my MSN list has either a "R.I.P Steve" or a turtle in their nic...he was legend...stupid, a nutcase but yea.

Le Sigh.]]> Mon, 04 Sep 2006 06:36:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/42833 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41899
Some rants. Some rambles. and just being posted.

Firstly, OneDay by the Oaktree Foundation, we, STAND, tried to do it the right way, going through all the 'little' people, expressing our opinions and concerns to people who didnt care or listen and then we did the easy way, our proposal for casual day got approved, haha the princpal didnt even read the whole proposal, she was just glad to see students wanting to create a change =D change baby is what you'll be seeing ALLOOTTT of!

Secondly, the matter of church and you guessed it, its back to the way it should be but I still feel I am not truly actions on my beliefs....ah well!

Thirdly, Charities Committee, run by the SRC, led by ...*drum rollz* yours truly, Daffodli Day prepartions are allmmoosstt underway, just need to figure out a way how to stop STAND and Charities from killing each other before we actually do anything...ahhahaa irnoic, I am repsonisble for both =( gives a whole new meaning to different sides of the coin.

and lastly, STAND, BAKE SALE!!!!! on one day!! haha we are great! we are using september 1st as our first "going out" day! should be fun........*faints*
now onto preparing stuff to go in the school newsletter about both STAND and Oaktree....dammit if only the people in the group actually cared! but I am not complaining!

ekk should get back to my assesment on Eugene Atget .. *sighs* what an awesome photogrpaher he was!!

"I am not alone" is on this Saturday!!! eekk, dammit I am too booked, but I shall try to cancel existing plans for this!

Oh 40 HOUR FAMINE THIS WEEKEND!
haha *hides* I havent collected anything =(
I'll get there, dont you worry!

Oh get this! we have an assessment for english where we are meant to write a humorous narrative....soo not gonna happen! I dont have a funny bone in my body =(
and yes I do enjoy writing narratives...natural talent..can make up stuff that makes perfect sense in less then 45seconds...but thats only for sad, depressing or love stories.
I mean I am funny...in a dry scarastic way but not many people see that throwing cheese is funny..

ah wellz!
back to Atget and his views on Paris =/

Over and Out!
Rusty!!]]> Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:12:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41899 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41570
At the moment,I dont really care about making a difference and the social justice crap so I am not doing anything more after the 40 forty hour famine and One Day (and One Day might not happen so meh)

I have become a little less tolerant so yea I am pissing people of left right and centre but if you cant hold yourself together so why should I hold you now?

School elections were on today. Missed out on a period since I had to vote. It was not very democratic, heh popularity contest.

Other stuff...
Nothing else really.
Should start on the history and photography, cant seem to find the motivation to do so.

Over and out
Rusty!]]> Fri, 04 Aug 2006 08:40:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41570 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41294 Hillsong United.

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
]]> Fri, 28 Jul 2006 11:28:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41294 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41032 “Wish I had what I needed to be on my own because I feel so defeated and I am feeling alone”
Jason strummed the G-cord on this guitar as he sang as he sat in the corner of a house which he once called his home, tears filling in his eyes.
Everything that he believed in, everyone that he cared for and loved had disappointed him.

Yesterday after 14 years of fights his parents had finally divorced, or maybe it was after 17 of fights,
Jason was 18 and he couldn’t remember when it all began, why it all began and why no one did anything to stop his world from crumbling.
Jason was fine. He was okay with the way life had been to him. He wasn’t one to throw in the towel when things got tough, instead he’d keep moving on, keep doing what he did best, smiling.

For the past 5 years, or well since Jason began to understand his feelings, there was only one emotion he could feel, hurt. He covered it up with his Christian rock music, his religious work, his charity work and community service. He was everyone’s shoulder, he was the one who would pester you until you told him exactly what was wrong. He liked to think he was conceited but he was the humblest of them all.

This time things got a bit too far, his parents divorce wasn’t the cause though, it was everything, not being able to be himself, hiding his emotions for so long that he didn’t know how to let it out, pressure from family to do well at school, his friends not being able to see the hurt in his eyes, the feeling that he was being taken for granted, which he was because no matter what happened, no matter what you did Jason was always going to be there, he had your back no matter what, but who had Jason’s back?

“It could never make me happy and all my sand castles spend their time collapsing”
Eighteen years and a bright future ahead of him, Jason didn’t really care, he knew what was right, he knew what his life was worth, he knew he had everything to live with and god to life for yet he felt defeated, somewhere along the way someone had forgotten that Jason was also a person and not just a shrink, a preacher man.

“What the hell?” he asked himself. “Why am I crying? I am supposed to be stronger, I am supposed to get past this”
He knew he was kidding himself, how could he get over this in a day when he had been hiding it for over five years, when every moment with himself was scary and every time he looked in the mirror he found someone else, someone who pleased the world and not himself looked back at him. His shadows scared him and the thought that someone could love him was scary while he preached and believed that God loved him.


Tomorrow was his graduation at school, he just like every other year didn’t have a date but it didn’t matter because he didn’t intend to graduate. Jason put his guitar down and called the first number on his phone.

“What?” answered a somewhat annoyed female of his age.
“Hey Tiff its Jason are you busy” he replied sobbing as he tasted one of is tears, his voice was weak, his tears, bitter.
“Yea I am actually getting my nails done, you alright mate? Hey I have to go. Bye” said Tiffany as she hung up.

She didn’t even wait for the answer whether Jason was alright or not, no she had a life even though Jason was the one to thank for it. Six months ago Tiffany had been a shattering wreck with no one and nothing to live for. Jason had helped her get through it all. He had showed her what life was about. He knew what life was about he just felt too defeated, too alone, to fed up, he knew every cloud had a silver lining, he knew it all mattered but he had given up.

Jason put the phone down and looked at an old dusty frame with a little boy staring back at him, he had black hair and hazel eyes which were filled with hope. The same eyes that were now filled with tears that no one would see.

“One more time” he thought to himself and he punched in his best friends number.

“Oh Jas its you, sorry bro kinda busy, Katherine is here, I’ll see ya at school ay Bye” replied Matt as he hung up as well.


Jason knew all the other replies would be the same, Jason was the one who was used to lean on, not the one with the problem. His smiles, laughs and jokes had made him seem like he was the perfect one, the unbreakable one. Jason was forsaken, by the ones who the thought were going to be there when he thought he’d need them.

Jason wiped his tears and got up, his eyes bloodshot red with tears, he looked like the one to take on the world with his baggy blue jeans and red tee-shirt that said “Together we are one”. He closed the front door behind him as he walked out onto the street. He smiled at a group of girls standing on the corner of the street, they returned cold stares. He kept on walking. “it all ends today” he thought to himself.

He climbed the steps to the train station, it was empty as usual, a dry hot breeze blew from the west as he checked the timetable.
“Next train to city in 12 minutes” he said to himself. 12 minutes till his life took a direction which he never intended it would. He sat down on the blue seats “Greenwood” place he had grown up in, place that wont miss him, place the didn’t need him at all.

“Broken and branded and burning without a doubt”
He looked at the big station mirror one more time, yup the person who looked back at him wasn’t Jason Richardson, no the guy looking back at him was someone who was too faded to realise where the real kid who made mistakes ended and this perfect person began.

Jason leaned forward and saw the train at the distant. He got up, tears ran down his eyes, his inner voice had nothing to say today, the train was 2 meter away and Jason leaped in front of it.

Within seconds his 6ft, medium built physique was in pieces, eight carriages ran over him, his tee shirt was in pieces, stained with his blood.
The train stopped a few meters, the tracks covered in blood.
Within a few minutes the ambulance was there, picking up what was left of a once pretty decent looking guy.

His funeral was held a week later, a crowd gathered, friends, family, people who didn’t know him and people who didn’t care whose funeral it was. Tiffany cried through the service, how could she have not been there to listen when she heard the pain in his voice. She was guilty of not giving Jason back what he gave her. Lewis was guilty of not being the shoulder for his best mate the only time he needed him.

Jason died and so did his dreams, his hopes, his views on life, the shoulder of his friends died, the one to make things right died. Friends mourned for a few weeks and then moved on, his parents remembered him once in a while but then got on with their lives.

He was right, Greentwood, place where he wont be missed, place where he wasn’t needed.
]]> Mon, 24 Jul 2006 06:14:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/41032 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/40867 Wednesday night. Feels more like friday night.
Argh must stop procrastinating =(

So lets see, today we got a new english teacher, shes scary!!!! *hides*

For sport today, I had aerobics and weights, I made good use of the sit up bench....very comfy to nap on =D

I am putting soo many things off...I should start actually making a draft of everything I want to do with Stand but the thoughts just go hiding whenever I take a pen out.

School....
Maths = Fun, since I spend the time writing songs. (Song writing = not one of my strong points)
Photography = Fun, a bludge which gives me alot of time for thinking.
English = NOT FUN! I need to find a way to get out of my english classes. I got complimented for about 2 mintues because I knew what "apathy" meant. Yea nice work Patricia, perfect way to start the term, kissing the teachers ass.

Onto something wonderful, my dear old year adviser bought 2 wristbands today =D
Ah I lubberz people!

Well until...next time!
Rusty!]]> Wed, 19 Jul 2006 05:57:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/40867 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/40838 Those little things about something that you cant seem to let go and no matter how long its been, how much you have grown, those things never fail to make you smile.
I don’t know what I am on about, everything just feels perfect.

Onto something more meaningful ..semester 2 began today, soo pumped, so excited, don’t have a real reason to be but seeing as I only have 2 and a half years left might as well enjoy the ride.
I need to get my act together, like now for instance, I should be doing homework but instead I am blogging.
Ah you got to admit, this is so much more fun. Hehe.

]]> Tue, 18 Jul 2006 07:15:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/40838 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333 http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/40703
Start stirring guys!!
"The greatest threat in our time is NOT Terrorism - more people in this world are worried about surviving the night than being a suicide bomber's victim.

The greatest weapon of mass destruction is by far poverty. A child dies needlessly every three seconds as a result of poverty.

Previous generations have tried and failed to make a world of peace and equality for all of us to enjoy.
Now it's up to us. How will we be judged? We have the power, energy and passion to make a difference.

It’s our time to stir things up – RIGHT NOW!

Be Creative - Be a voice for the voiceless - Just Stir!"

- Stir.org.au

Stir need 10,000 people by Septmeber or we close down....=(

"Stir has been funded through the international aid agency World Vision of Australia. Stir has been funded through the international aid agency World Vision of Australia." -Stir.org.au

http://stir.org.au/stir/BecomeAStirrer.aspx?topicID=311
Come on Come on Come on!
]]> Fri, 14 Jul 2006 03:05:00 EDT http://patriciak.tigblog.org/post/40703 -33.7666667 150.8333333 -33.7666667 150.8333333